Report from Le Tour | ShredQuest.com

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Bonsoir tout le monde!
Finish at Colmar

D’accord, d’accord, I have not been slack. Au contraire, so far all we’ve done is get lost in Strasbourg (twice – thank God for Google Maps on iPhone!), visit some of Michael’s business suppliers in Strasbourg (and had a beautiful lunch – see below), and gotten ourselves to delightful Colmar for Stage 13. Pretty much I’ve worked out Michael shouldn’t be in charge of any navigational duties. Especially when a sign says “train station this way” and he insists it’s in the opposite direction.

But in reality the lack of updates is due to us not having WiFi access. I am roaming on data and this will be costing a FORTUNE (I expect a $1000 phone bill when I return).

So far, in aid of my ebook, I’ve gathered the following must-haves for a trip to le Tour:

Campervan; a car + hotel would be an absolute nightmare to follow the tour.
3G roaming (expensive, but very worth it, if you don’t like getting lost like some sort of lost Australian gypsy folk) – alternative is discussed below
Some French language (helpful, respectful)
Pre-tour recce work so you have a good idea of where you want to go (there are a lot of people around) [will link to pdf later]
If you have a load of gear (more than one person), good luck getting a maxi-van type of cab – Melbourne and Sydney have loads, Frankfurt ist nein! Maybe the hire place can help
Aerogard, especially for the Alsace region – very muggy
Excess baggage allowance (using TravelAffare in Adelaide, we got 15kg extra each)

Our flight over was uneventful; flying over Lake Eyre (with water) was delightful.

The Australian interior is so beautiful, we are super lucky to live there and have access to such landscape. Seeing the incredible desert and Lake Eyre filled me with resolve to get a 4WD and smash out some Kimberly, Ningaloo, Kakadu, Ord River etc etc!

Malaysian Airlines vegetarian food was a big let down (compared to Thai and even Air Canada). Michael had low fat food all the way which was just lean meat and vegies. I somehow had the bar shut down on me on the MEL-KL leg even though I’d only had a couple of drinks – whatever to you Malaysian. I slept for once, probably due to the fact I have been only sleeping 5 hours a day due to my new project.

We rolled into Frankfurt; no paperwork for entry at all apart from a couple of questions. Getting a maxi van to carry our 2 big roller bags plus bikes was a mission, but as always, it turned out ok. Our hire place – McRent – was not open until 9AM (we were there at 7, such was epic German efficient customs efficiency), bit of McDonalds Egg McMuffin was einen delicioushausen (German: it’s easy). Setting up the iPhone as an internet modem shocked a few people. Like CIA car park ninjas.

The campervan did not include any linen or pillows, an oversight that I paid for on the first night. I was that tired I ended up sleeping like an 8000 year old Egyptian mummy anyway.

Wed 16th Juillet saw us wake up at the crack of dawn to delightful town church bells pealing the day in. 19 degrees at 6AM, and humid. French people seem to like sleeping in, perhaps it’s why the Germans found it so easy to invade (twice) – just rolling into towns at midday to sleepy Frenchmen. Germans were shocked by that.

Anyway we hit the supermarket which was crazy; there was a baffling array of cheese and bread.

The French do well to avoid expansive bellies given the unbelievable array of food at their disposal.
We had a major blowout, buying enough food to probably last a week including delicious Malibu (AUD$15 for 700mL), a case of Heineken and Bacardi for the road.

Jamieson, AUD$35 for 1L, mofos.

We spent a few hours with Videofied, who then took us to lunch at a brewery.

Delicious local Alsace beer could have caused carnage had we not got on the road – note to everyone; there’s a rad castle at Koenigsbourg en-route to Colmar that you need to check out (we didn’t yet, but it sits perched atop a very densely forested mountain and looks very imposing).

We rolled into Colmar which is a delightful town. A lot more laid back than ridiculously busy Strasbourg (home of European parliament), very cool little town. Our camp ground is by a river (and also the A35 highway) and very nice.

We eventually got our stuff together and rode out of town along tomorrow’s Tour de France stage 13 route. Very electrifying. We got lost again but eventually found the road to Munster which was very, very busy. A fair few cyclists were out, and it is very noticeable how much space and patience the French give you on the road. It’s a massive contrast to the average Australian motorist who is an impatient angry monger. Got that Aussie motorist. Stop being a twat.

The ride was VERY muggy and the sun was very hot, which was delightful. We found a climb which I think took us around 1000m up or maybe a bit more through dense, sun-dappled Alsatian forest. Beautiful countryside replete with many corn fields, vineyards and other assorted vegetable type produce. It’s very green here, with a lot of water and humidity and the plants seem to love it. I’m told Alsace sits very low between the Voges mountain range and the Black Forest area, and gets a lot of water (no mozzies yet though). We rode back into town and followed the exact tour route from Wintzenheim into Colmar, which was a buzz.

The finish will be VERY fast until it hits a technical section coming into the final straight, a roundabout, a quick right hand at 90 degrees, downhill into a 110 degree left hand which feeds the main straight. A peloton finish will be very interesting, and possibly introduce some carnage.

I really am enjoying this part of France. Very pretty, very chilled and pretty. Steep, lushly forested mini-mountains, and rolling hills covered in vines.

We got back to our van to find the camp site very full, and we’re parked next to Norwegians on either side. Turns out one of the groups is a bunch of dudes smashing out a bit of Tour for a few days. We wacked the boxing kangaroo up which caused some shock. And also a bit of Aussie, Aussie, Aussie which was highly unfortunate yet comforting at the same time. I mean, dude, come on, Oi, Oi, Oi!!

Tomorrow we see stage 13 – Vittel -> Colmar – and will probably be on the Col du Firstplan – a Dutch couple told us people were driving up the Cat 1 Col de la Shlucht tonight! Anyway, bed now, parce-que a demain, le Tour! (I don’t know how to say “we see”, it’s nous something, whatever the verb is for “to see” – avoir?).

Before I go: I have some RAD video of us riding today, once I have found a Wifi hotspot, I will upload…I’m up to a few hundred in data roaming already.

Things of note so far:

Watch out for:

Inclusions on campervan (I didn’t bring any linen or a pillow so had to buy any), and ensure the fridge and electricity extension cord work (ours doesn’t/didn’t)
Campervan hire place opening times
Not having any sort of detailed map of either regional roads or major towns
The French make poverty stricken coffee (not one coffee even has been close to appearing on wherespresso.com yet)
prepaid SIM cards do not include data – Michael blew through Euro40 in 2 minutes, literally, downloading 8 emails and sending 1 Twitter update. It appears as though, though, his email still works (send and receive) – Mobicarte prepaid from France Telecom/Orange.

Suggestions:

Organise transport from airport to campervan hire place if applicable
Take into the plane something like 4 bananas and a bag of almonds – I did this flying to Canada last year and felt a million dollars – clean and lean and your body doesn’t have to process hot food.
Google maps on an iPhone/smartphone
If you are ok with only having email on your phone, try Orange’s mobicarte prepaid SIM – you can’t get data plans without having a contract

Report from Le Tour – Colmar

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